The Labyrinth of London: Two Hearts
by FarGreenCountrySwiftSunrise
Summary: Jareth and Sarah are once again dress up for Halloween before they arrive at a crime scene. The Halloween before the Christmas section of His Last Trick. J/S.


The Labyrinth of London

Two Hearts

A Sherlock/Labyrinth Crossover

Inspired By

"The Thin White Sleuth…"

By

Pika-la-Cynique

Summary: Jareth and Sarah are once again dress up for Halloween before they arrive at a crime scene. The Halloween before the Christmas section of His Last Trick. J/S.

The Almighty Disclaimer

Oh Moffat and Gatiss and Thompson,

Henson and Doyle,

To you belongs all the characters

And none so for me!

A/N: This story was inspired by "The Thin White Sleuth…" by Pika-la-Cynique of Girls Next Door fame.

&%&%&%

There were bad days and there were worse days when one worked for Scotland Yard. Just for once, Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade wanted a day where everybody lived.

But no, they had another serial killer victim. It was some sort of poison that they could not identify. The victims were always stripped but there was no sign of assault. Just a single puncture wound at the throat that matched that of a syringe. The current victim was a woman in her twenties who looked a bit too much like a younger Donovan for Lestrade's stomach. He had called in Jareth, hoping that the consulting detective might know of something they did not.

It was a cool October day and Lestrade vaguely remembered that something was happening that day. Some sort of holiday that he could not remember. Something American. Something he could just not quite remember…

There was a "vroom, vroom" sound just outside the alleyway. For a moment, Lestrade thought it was… but even the thought of _him _actually existing was ridiculous.

When the former Goblin King came around the corner with a blue suit and a pressed on police box sign over his heart, Lestrade rolled his eyes. Goblins dressed up for Halloween were perfectly logical. Aliens, not so much.

"Why are you wearing the TARDIS sign?" Lestrade said.

"Good-bye," Jareth said smirking.

"Oh for the love… Where's Sarah? I need someone with a bit of sense around here," Lestrade said.

Sarah came around the corner dressed up as the Fourth Doctor. "Hello, I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I've got two hearts, see?" She pulled out from her coat pocket her stethoscope and offered it to Lestrade.

The detective sighed, but humored Sarah. She placed the end of the stethoscope on her belly which made Lestrade laugh. "I get it now."

"The last Halloween we had, Sarah decided we should go as the Doctor and a companion," Jareth said. He placed his hand on Sarah's lower back. "With the baby, we thought it more appropriate for her to be the Time Lord."

"And why are you dressed up as the TARDIS?" Lestrade.

"Well, we already were using Rule 63 on me, we thought Jareth could be the TARDIS because…" Sarah poked Jareth's side.

"Hello, I'm sexy," Jareth said.

Sarah giggled. "I love it."

"Well, I suppose we do have to get to work, precious," Jareth said.

Sarah took off her hat and long scarf, placed them on the roof of Lestrade's car, and then put on a surgical mask and latex gloves. Lestrade led them to where the body had been dumped in a garbage bin. Jareth jumped in, ignoring the sludge that he was standing in as he examined the body. Before he went on his usual rant, he paused before saying, "Lestrade, as much as I doubt there being any intelligence in Scotland Yard, I must ask this rather inane question."

"And what's that?" Lestrade said.

"Are you sure the victim is dead?" Jareth said.

"Of course she's dead. She was warm and dead when we showed up," Lestrade said.

"Then why do I feel a pulse, detective?" Jareth said.

"Give me a boost, Greg. Jareth, you better catch me," Sarah said.

"Always precious," Jareth said.

Lestrade helped Sarah over and Jareth did catch her. Sarah knelt next to the victim and worked on finding a pulse. "She's alive! Get an ambulance. Lestrade, get me a kit, now!"

"And what may I do to assist you?" Jareth said.

"Just stand there and look pretty," Sarah said.

Jareth smiled happily as his wife worked on saving the victim's life.

&%&%&%

The no-longer-dead victim's name was Angela and she was able to identify her assailant. The serial killer was an elf and was quickly arrested.

"Have I met an elf before, Jareth?" Sarah asked as the two of them walked to the interrogation room.

"No, and you still will not. They are subtle and quick to anger," Jareth said.

"I thought that was wizards," Sarah said.

"The statement is true of both. Combine the worst character traits of goblins and Fae and you have elves. I can't stand them. Bunch of practically immortal bastards," Jareth said.

"So, they're like lobsters and some jellyfish?" Sarah said.

"Yes, only lobsters and jellyfish are much less of a nuisance," Jareth said. He placed a hand on Sarah's growing belly. "They and the Fae are both reasons why the Goblin Kingdom continue to exist."

"Ah," Sarah said.

Jareth kissed Sarah's cheek. "You can watch through the two-way mirror. I have been requested to join Lestrade on this interrogation."

&%&%&%

Elves, unlike Fae, could not pass as human. Though of the same height and build as a human, they had pure black eyes with no irises, long finger nails, piranha-like teeth, and pale skin that was the envy of corpses. Their movements were either nothing or so fast one could not see how the elf moved from one position to the next. This particular elf had white hair and tattoos of winding ivy and brambles. Jareth vaguely remembered Sarah talking about in all culture humans were scared of creatures with pale skin, giant black eyes, and sharp teeth. If he had to guess, it came from these creatures.

"What's an elf doing in the Above?" Lestrade asked.

The elf remained completely still.

"Listen, we have an eye witness and physical evidence, it's not _if _you did it, it's _why_," Lestrade said.

"She went shopping," Jareth said.

"Excuse me?" Lestrade said.

Jareth motioned to the elf's watch. "There is an 'A' on the elf's timepiece, but an 'E' on her necklace. Both match the first names of two victims. Everything is varying styles and prices. The clothes are an ill fit. You killed those women because you liked something they wore."

The elf smiled, showing its teeth. "Not all of them."

"No. Not the last one. Were you getting sloppy? Disappointing," Jareth said.

"Oh, no. I found her to be less vain than the others," the elf said, "Her watch was a gift, not greed. I was showing kindness when I gave her the poison to temporarily slow her heart. Most of my kind would not do such."

Jareth shrugged. "You let one of them go, but that is nothing new. Every once in a while a little victim is spared. Because she smiled. Because he has freckles. Because they begged. And that is how you live with yourself. That is how you slaughter millions. Because once in a while, on a whim, if the wind is in the right direction, you happen to be kind."

"Speaking from experience, goblin?" the elf said.

"Yes," Jareth said with no hesitation.

"Then we are alike," the elf said.

"Indeed. However, of the two of us, which of us is in chains?" Jareth said.

"How is that bullet wound doing?" the elf asked

Jareth smirked, showing his own sharp teeth. "I am done with you." He stood up to leave.

"All hail the Goblin King." The elf laughed. "My mistake. You're not a king a yet."

Jareth slammed the door once he was out of the room.

&%&%&%

"Did you just quote the Doctor in 'Boom Town'?" Sarah asked when Jareth exited the room.

He pulled her into as tight of an embrace as he could without harming his son. "I would never hurt you."

"I know, Jareth. Shush," Sarah said as she rubbed his back.

"Our son will never fear me."

"He'll love you, Jareth."

"I am not… I have done things…"

"I know. You've told me. You don't have to tell me again unless it will help you."

"Are you scared of me?"

"I am only scared for you."

Jareth pressed a kiss to her neck. "I love you so much, Sarah."

"I know. Let's get out of here and go home."

&%&%&%

Sarah sat on the couch with Jareth as they watched _Mark of the Vampire _together while eating candy. Sherlock typed on his computer at the dining table while John ate popcorn in the red chair.

"Why does he have a bullet wound in his head?" John asked.

"Removed back story. He raped his daughter, the female vampire, and she shot him in the head. A bit too much for the censors at the time," Sarah said.

"Well that's more disturbing than the vampires," John said

"The most terrifying monsters are those within ourselves," Sherlock said.

"Oh, come one," Sarah groaned, "No philosophizing while watching Bela Lugosi!"

"We already know what happened," Jareth said.

Sarah smacked his leg. "If you have deduced how the murder happened…"

"I saw this when it was in theaters with Christiana, precious."

"Oh, well…" Sarah cleared her throat.

"Though I did deduce it when I watched it the first time," Jareth said with a smirk, "Christiana smacked me then."

"You are such a dork," Sarah said with a laugh before she kissed him.

John tossed some of his popcorn at Sarah and Jareth as they started making out. "Hey! Halloween! Murder! This is not a kissing story!"

&%&%&%

A/N: Happy Halloween dear readers! I have been planning this fic for a while since I was reminded of the idea of dressing as the Doctor when you're pregnant because you will have two hearts. _Mark of the Vampire _is one of my favorite Bela Lugosi films.

The creature that is in various cultures comes from this post.

The "Just stand there and look pretty" line is from this labyrinth-headcanon.

Also, check the fourth paragraph of the article in this link.


End file.
